Almost Disowned for Your Decision to Marry Outside of Your Culture?

Cultured immigrant parents often fear that when their child marries someone of another race, they will forget their own culture, values, morals, and become "brainwashed." Although this is not true, it can be difficult for them to see past the differences and preconceived notions.

Many immigrant families resist the idea of their children marrying into another race or religion because cultural differences—such as language, beliefs, faith, and food—can be challenging to navigate. One of their biggest concerns is how the future children will be raised. Will they learn their mother tongue? How will they balance two cultures? Will the culture be passed on at all?

For example, in India, it is common for people to marry from the same region or caste as their own. There has been a shift in recent years where parents are becoming more open to their children dating and marrying someone with a different cultural or racial background. While some have even accepted interracial relationships, there are still many who strongly oppose their child dating outside of their ethnicity.

You may have been raised to believe that marrying a non-Indian was not an option, but love is not something you can always control. If you were taught not to judge a book by its cover, then you know that a person's character, family values, and beliefs should matter more than their skin colour or ethnicity.

Tips to Make Your Intercultural Marriage a Successful One:

Immerse Yourself in Your Spouse’s Culture

Learn about your partner’s customs through observation and research. Don’t hesitate to ask questions.

Make an Effort to Combine Both Cultures

Whether it’s creating a shared menu or celebrating holidays, embrace both cultures with enthusiasm. Celebrate in small and big ways until it becomes a natural part of your life. Honouring both cultures equally strengthens your relationship.

Bend Traditions to Fit Your Own Life

Not all traditions will resonate with you. Some are timeless, while others may feel outdated. Choose the traditions that align with your values and don’t feel obligated to practice customs that don’t make sense to you.

Embrace the Differences

Cultural differences aren’t about right or wrong; they are simply different ways of life. Approach them with curiosity rather than judgment. Accept that some customs may not align with your beliefs, and that’s okay.

Expect and Work Through Misunderstandings

Every couple faces misunderstandings, but intercultural couples may experience more due to differences in culture, language, and communication styles. Use these moments to foster deeper communication.

Prioritize Family

Welcome each other’s families into your home and visit relatives when possible. Spending time with family before they are gone is invaluable. Knowing your roots strengthens your identity and enriches future generations.

Stay True to Yourself

It’s easy to get lost in your spouse’s culture. At times, it may feel overwhelming. Always remember where you come from and stay grounded. Find a balance between both cultures that feels authentic to you.

Tune Out the Negativity 

It's easy to be consumed by the negativity from unsupportive friends and family. If you find yourself in this situation, be CURIOUS! There’s a power of asking questions instead of making assumptions is the key here. What better way to show acceptance than asking questions to understand their culture and heritage? Being curious about how their culture impacts their worldview and how they think about relationships will be a gamechanger for an interracial couple.

Final Thoughts

Love changes us and helps us grow. Being loved and loving deeply elevates us. As we grow in love, we open doors for our families to grow as well. Our intercultural love transformed us for the better—and the same can be true for you and your family too.

If any of the information above pertains to you or someone you know, please reach out to me. I offer a safe space where you can talk, share your experiences, and receive the support you deserve. Let’s start the conversation today.

-          Nave Nijjar

Registered Psychotherapist